Dwarf Fortress!

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    Boxpopper

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Boxpopper on Wed Nov 09, 2011 10:59 pm

    Dear Journal.

    I had dreams. I thought I could make something of this grand expedition. Tragedy has befallen my dwarves, however.

    We set out in the year 125 from our homeland, one of the grandest in Romxah. In the middle of the Mire of Meteors, that great wide swamp of red sand and clay, we made our new home and called it Tanathgusil. Our complex went 10 levels deep, but we never were even able to establish a dining hall... It was in that harsh winter of 126 that our water ran dry as our luck.

    I had just seen off the liason from my newly constructed office when a snowstorm came across the mire, freezing the water solid. Our supplies were not enough to last the storm, and I had not organized a brewery schedule. 10 of our number perished from thirst that day. Not long after we dwindled down to three. I had attempted to build up a supply of alcohol, but it appears too late.

    All that remains is myself, and the ruins of my failure. You will find me here dead in the still, having drunk beyond my mortal fill of Stinkale.

    - Stukos Stakudlotol, Expedition Leader, Tangathgusil
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    Boxpopper

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Boxpopper on Wed Nov 09, 2011 11:02 pm

    Actually I think I last saw him staggering around beating cats in his office...
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    Boxpopper

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Boxpopper on Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:18 pm

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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:20 pm

    lol amazing pic..

    Dear Urist McOMGMYHEADSONFIRE!

    Dont go running into the commons area and think someone will douse you...
    It only makes all the nice white wooden furniture catch flames, and melt your friends fat, as they are too stupid to stop eating and run away...


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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:26 pm

    Attention all citizens of Hawkhelms,

    I have been asked a string of questions about our military practices recently, and after careful observation, have written this short guide for when if useless migrant cheesemaker and animal dissectors fresh recruits are ever needed:

    1) Dodging demonstrations are important, I understand this, as are fighting and striking demonstrations. Listen to your instructors to avoid magma and water based incidents when avoiding killing blows. Don't, for the love of Armok, decide to take a nap during these demonstrations. I explicitly ordered 7 of the 10 of you to be training, and I know full well 2 of your comrades are in hospital after heroically slaughtering goblins.

    2) 2 or 3 of your comrades have a kill list as long as their weapons. After 4 solid years of combat and training, you are expected to achieve at least one kill. What the hell is going on?!

    3) A siege or ambush is coming, you've all been ordered to the gates to await combat to arrive through the bottleneck and traps. You have plenty of warning, you were drafted at least a year ago. So for the love of Armok tell me why you are NOW picking up your equipment. You were ordered to keep it on even if off duty. Actually...

    3a) Equipment mismatch??! MISMATCH?! It's a fucking master steel gauntlet. I have 20-30 spare in case of breakage or loss. What, is it the wrong fucking colour for you?! Doesn't match your nails?!

    4) I appreciate all the work you have done over the years Urist McChampion, but when you insist on running into battle with your pet kitten against a titan/FB/ major siege, don't take it out on the others or our lovely buildings if said kitten is turned to paste. Leave it at home or at the butchers.

    5) If you have been asked to join the city guard, you have the authority to arrest or issue beatings with necessary force. Necessary force does not mean slicing off limbs or major living parts (Heads, legs, ENTIRE F^$&ING TORSOS). Yes the "Legendary" looks intimidating, and yes that miner is as tough as the rock he digs, but he's no more deadly than the fucking goats you run away from you pansy.


    Failure to comply will result in pulling of our patented "Noble Happy Fun Time Lever".

    -Overseer


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    Boxpopper

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Boxpopper on Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:29 am

    Year 251, in the Enchanted Forest, on a continent of Slozgo Snun (Universe of Oracles)

    Well it's been almost a year since we dug into this bright little corner of the world, and things are on the upswing. We have recieved two consecutive groups of migrants in the past season (chalk it up to our beautiful smooth stone dining room!).

    Being simultaneously Expedition Leader, Broker, Manager, and Bookkeeper is a great honor for a hack craftsdwarf. Seriously, every other migrant crafter has been leagues better than I. It doesn't bother me, now that I've become a frivolous bureaucrat. Mostly I've turned the useless dimwits into peasants, to keep the hauling jobs off of the important castes, but we did get a few exceptional fellows.

    Most notable is Degel Rigothgrab, a High Master brewer. I saw him throw together a plump helmet martini in a split second, and it was perfect! We also now have a great furnace operator too. Strangely, some broad who came in claims to be a High Master woodburner... spending so much time setting things on fire stinks of a troubled childhood if you ask me...

    Anyhoo, time to direct the masons as they smooth out the stone walls on the new bedrooms. They need to be picked on...

    - Feb Rigothnosing, Expedition Leader, Tombsknight


    Last edited by Boxpopper on Mon Nov 14, 2011 10:27 am; edited 1 time in total
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    Boxpopper

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Boxpopper on Mon Nov 14, 2011 9:37 am

    9th Timber, Year 251

    So our carpenter started darting his eyes around the dining room madly... and before anyone could ask what was wrong he bolted upstairs to the wood workshop... and he came out with this spiky oak cage. He called it "Othsingulnas Sholeb Urdim."

    God of Blood, who the hell am I living with?

    -Feb Rigothnosing, Expedition Leader, Tombsknight
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    Boxpopper

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Boxpopper on Tue Nov 15, 2011 9:49 am

    Shit, I lost the save for Tombsknight somehow. Oh well... time to start a new fort.
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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Sat Dec 24, 2011 9:15 pm

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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Sat Feb 18, 2012 4:22 pm



    Screen Capped that fucking Sponge...


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    Ippy
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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Ippy on Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:18 am



    Fucking run for your lives.
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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:41 pm

    He never Knew His Parents Sad


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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Sat Mar 09, 2013 7:22 pm

    Well i guess i post it here because my DF thread got shafted...(lol)



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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    temo

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Sat Mar 09, 2013 7:24 pm



    and My last fortress:



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    LokiLeader

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by LokiLeader on Sun Mar 17, 2013 9:49 pm

    So my fortress lasted 89 years before a goblin invasion from an underground tunnel (one i dug into) bull rushed my mining district. In an attempt to lock them down i blockaded the entire level with a trap that places blocks down like a wall. I didn't realize however that they had gotten their greedy fucking hands on 3 steel picks belonging to my diggers. They dug through my defenses and a war ensued for the next 2 years

    Over 150 goblins were funneled into a 2 square corridor where i funneled my troops. while they fought i trained more civilians to become warriors and i dug a side passage to flank them. After a successful flank they attempted to retreat into the caverns below and i ran them down only to run into a golem that was lost in the cavern. Borttt the Adamantine Golem slew my entire population as he charged up the stairs and ascended the levels of my fortress. I lost over 200 dwarves that day

    i lost all of them except my weapons smith whom i had assigned to hunting in the sted of my normal hunter who was hospitalized by an elephant. The golem had won my fortress, but my remaining dwarf carved himself a new small fort in a nearby mountain side. There he discovered a cash of rich materials and forged himself a Legendary weapon, Frembolge The Flaming axe. With this axe and a set of steel armor he trained. For 2 years he trained on dummies, surviving on rats, old alcohol, and what little he had salvaged from the storage area. Then i tested his metal as a master axe dwarf, master wrestler, and master dodger. i sent him into the olde fort. and there he fought for 5 minutes. Blow after blow after blow. Both of his legs were broken in the battle near teh end, but he struck that golem down. But despite his victory he could do nothing. He sat and bled until winter came. He died of starvation and the fort was lost, but he did get one last thing done before his death. He engravedengraved a mural of the battle(the only amazing thing done in this game) before passing away. Some day someone will find that haunted place... someday.


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    Raxistaicho

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Raxistaicho on Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:54 pm

    Honestly, I WANT to play this game, but the ASCII format and the general way it works looks hellishly hard to play.

    Ippy wrote:

    Fucking run for your lives.

    Beware. Without a nervous system, the only thing it can feel. IS ANGER.
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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Tue Apr 16, 2013 7:35 am



    JUST DRINK OUT OF THE DAMN RIVER YOU DUMBFUCKS


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    Raxistaicho

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Raxistaicho on Tue Apr 16, 2013 7:49 am

    The moral of the story: always make more buckets.
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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:22 am



    WTF HORSE?

    Why are you going ape-shit on ur own Baby?@?@?@?!?!?

    All i see is an EXPLOSION on body parts from the horse pen... i thought one fucking exploded or something... Teeth everywhere....



    On the bright side i made all the lost teeth into pretty necklasses and sold them to the Faggot elfs!


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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:25 am

    Damn... the're Still going at it.... Bloody horse chunks everywhere... ... ... Fuck it! All surviving Demonic horse are now getting re-located to the tiger pit! Effective Imminently!


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    Raxistaicho

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Raxistaicho on Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:32 am

    Any idea what drove them to start murdering each other?
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    Elit3Fla5h

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Elit3Fla5h on Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:18 pm

    Rabbi did not meat the quota for wierd shit in his game yet so this had to happen.


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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:14 pm

    Very true! lol


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    Ippy
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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Ippy on Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:21 pm

    I laughed so hard. The horses hit me outta nowhere after the water thing. You can ask Elite, he heard me over mumble. But seriously, couldn't you make them a bucket?
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    Rock'emSock'emRabbi

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    Re: Dwarf Fortress!

    Post by Rock'emSock'emRabbi on Wed Apr 17, 2013 11:00 pm

    I was in the Desert...

    THERE WERE NO TREES


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