Dwarf Fortress!

Danger rooms are cheating

You are a cheater now

Your only option is to build a giant pyramid out of precious metals and kick your cheaty dorfs down a shaft in the middle making them fall 30+ level onto a pit of spikes. The spike room must be filled with wild badgers that feast on the flesh of the cheaty (now splattered) dorfs forever banishing their vile spirits from the mortal plane.  

Or thus be forever labeled a dirty cheater in my big book of DF players.

This also counts as a sacrifice to the blood god... So two in one there.

Bleh, it's only cheating if I change the game files '   3 '

A new forgotten beast!

The Forgotten Beast Xungo has come! An enormous humanoid composed of grime and filth! It has wings and appears to me emaciated! Beware its poisonous vapors!

Yeah, too bad for Xungo that I sealed off the caverns when I first found them, and haven't looked back since.

Have fun milling around in the caves, Xungo!

My baron is GOING INTO THE FUCKING DROWNING CHAMBER.

He decided to lay a ban on bins, MONTHS after I finished trading with some other dwarves.

What the fuck, you nimrod!

The fucking captain of the guard beat one of my armorer's to death.

Okay, I can't touch that fucking Baron (until the king moves in, anyways), but I can SURE make his little twerp enforcer die.

Today, I've decided to open up a hole above the caverns at the bottom of my fortress, and make a retractable bridge over the resulting gap.

Hopefully, any dwarf that I cast int that abyss will survive the fall so Xangu can get to them.

So yes, I'm making a Rancor pit

Bad news is, I don't think the Captain of the Guard is going to be around long enough for my execution pit to finish XD

It turns out one of the dorfs she beat to death was her own damn husband, and she's pretty miffed about that. She's currently sitting in one area, refusing to move, and tantruming.

Well, everyone was working pretty normally...

And then the Queen arrived @.@

I made a ... minor error today in designing a small channel of water, and managed to flood and entire floor of my fortress.

Luckily, it wasn't anything important. Just an old mining shaft that I didn't really need. I had my masons walls off the stairs before the water could get into my living quarters. Unfortunately, some dumbass decided to take a nap in an area that had water rushing into it, and he slept right through getting sealed in with the water. I will not be crying for him. Some kid wandered in there too. I hate Dorf Kids almost as much as I hate Dorf Babies, so I don't care about him either.

My newest fortress was seiged. BY THE UNDEAD!

They came before the elven caravan did!

The zombies slaughtered my military, but got caught on some traps. I thought I was safe, but... a necromancer had actually come with them. Cue army of dismembered body parts.

Oh Armok, you can store booze in stone pots?

Christ, I am going to save SO MUCH wood this time....

Only way to survive in the desert lol

This time I set up an actual well, praise Armok

Though cheating clever manipulation of making a fortification of the edge tile of the map, so I just channelled out the river to flow off the map.

Sadly, I failed to consider that having water that drains and has a source that can freeze defeats the whole purpose of making a source of water for when ice hits. Derp. Well, the next time the river freezes over I'll go pop a bridge down there to prevent that problem.

BTW, how long have you had that notice that I'm a cheater? XD

I sacrificed one of my dwarves today to see what lay at the bottom of a cavern. He finally hit ground at the 110th z level and blew up so spectacularly that one of his arms is hanging in midair.

Unfortunately, there wasn't any Lava down there. I wonder how far I'm going to have to dig... Oh, Armok, I'm going to need so much metal to pump it all up.

There doesn't appear to be any iron on this map at all, which... really sucks o.e

A necromancer snuck into the map today and started causing trouble, but then a goblin ambush arrived, killed the necromancer, and got run off by his undead minions. So that was funny.

Okay, turns out the goblins weren't much help.

When the dust finally cleared (with me gone from 61 to 40 dwarves) my dwarves piled up SIX different necromancer corpses, and I know at least 2 of them got away.

What the christ!

Okay, so now I understand why Necromancers were giving me so much trouble. I turned Sites up on world gen, so there were more than a few embark sites that had 2 or even 3 towers within range.

A giant attacked my fortress yesterday. I withdrew my dwarves inside and planned for the traps to deal with him. I was a bit sad about my war dogs, who were outside, but I was prepared to accept their loss.

Instead, the war dogs trolled the giant until he passed out from exhaustion. One dog would bite down on, and all that the giant could do was break their grip on him in time for anohter to latch on. Repeat until the giant got tired and passed out o.e

Did some trading with the hippies elves. Accidentally threw something made of wood into the bunch, so I just had my military kill them all and I nicked their shit. That'll learn 'em

I found Adamantine! =O

Start digging recklessly, dwarves

But no lava, which is weird. I really need to find dat lava sea so I can Magma Piston it on up and get Magma Workshops.

So today while I was digging around the Adamantium to find the Magma Sea, a fire-spitting Forgotten Beast suddenly spawned. It went crazy, murdered my two miners who were down there at the time, and proceeded to slime its way on up to the fortress, My military cut it down without much trouble, but it managed to incinerate one of my speardwarves before rolling over. Then, just when I thought things had calmed down, a damn dragon spawns!

My military killed the dragon surprisingly easily, but the overworld is currently turning into a barren ashy wasteland. A little depressing, really.

So, how do I get my butchers to dragon the dragon back and make sandwiches out of it?

I found out today that one of the dwarves who got killed by the dragon/forgotten beast was the Baron.

http://animewriter.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/nagisas-tears-of-joy.jpg

Just to give the little douche one last dig I gave his room to the mayor and had his coffin tossed into the communal coffin chamber.

The goblins are being annoying as hell. I've missed every caravan this year thanks to their seiges. On the plus side, I killed their general this time, so I won't be seeing their war mounts again.

Finally playing again! XD

I discovered my new fortress has CATS.

To counter this threat, I'm having my miners build a small pit off to the side of my living areas. It'll be 3X3. One way in; no way out. The females get ceremoniously hurled inside while the males get to run free and eat vermin.

When the female cats spore and give birth, they'll promptly slaughter their kittens due to a lack of room. I will let the cats curb their catsplosion for me.

Sure, I could just stuff the females into cages, but this way saves cages and is a lot more fun

Yeah, my last fortress suffered spontaneous rabbit splosion...
Which was kinda a blessing because i soon discovered that my cow pen was empty of grass and full of rotten cow corpses...
I had like no seeds and what grew went to booze.
I had like 3 fishermen tho so my dorfs survived off of mussels and rabbit meat.

They even crafted a legendary rabbit bone bracelet artifact....